also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
