This is the prime rib incident all over again
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
