Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
