why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
