fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
