I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
