also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
