Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
