If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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