i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
the raccoons are back...
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