Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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