If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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