How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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