Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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