I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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