What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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