You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize