So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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