Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
