first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
