i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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