yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
