Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
