I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
