Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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