Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
