I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize