I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
