from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
