she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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