1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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