Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
