Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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