after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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