Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
