i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
