Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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