Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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