she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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