Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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