I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm both gender and math confused
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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