i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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