Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
