I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
