just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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