Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
