This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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