I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
