My room smells like vodka and shame
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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