Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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