we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Help. Why am I so naked?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
