phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
