Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Vodka?
Forever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
