i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
