i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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