I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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