ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize