So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
