He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
