do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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